#7

Well kids,

The Emmy Awards have come and gone, and yours truly was overlooked for his

sensitive portrail of an aging hippie on NBC's "Suddenly Susan".

That's O.K.

As an actor, one learns to live with loss and take it inside of his or

herself to be called upon later for dramatic purposes. And then I shall hire

a native-American to refuse the award on my behalf.

That is until all the stupid people realize who they are and get the hell out

of my way.

But, I digress.

Since it's network debut week as I type this, it's nice to know that in this

ever-changing world somethings are constants.

"Friends" is still a wonderful sitcom.

"Action" is an hillariously over-the-top right-on satire of showbiz...quickly

paced and without the knowing swarminess of Showtime's "Beggers and

Choosers"...

a little too much Tartikoff for me.

Billie Frank is back with all-new wonderful "Rude Awakenings"...yum

and the gang at "Linc's" make us feel as at home at the turn of century as

the gang at "Cheers" did fifteen or so years ago.

As for ME,

it's "Buffy","Charmed", "Voyager", Dennis Miller, Craig Kilbourne, Bill Mahar

and a special "guilty pleasure" section of my brain won't let me miss either

"The Crow" or--hang onto your hats--"PSI Factor"...

yes, I know.

I can hear you guys clicking your damn mouse buttons as I type, but I gotta

call 'em as I see 'em.

Yo'.

Speaking of which, I suppose my age is showing yet again.

What's up with (did you see what I did there?)

Eminem?

Limp Bizkit?

Korn?

Somebody please educate me about Ms. Lauryn Hill.

I know...I know, it's sour grapes.

They are all more famous and probably more talented than I will ever be,

but I still don't get it.

I understand Will Smith.

I understand Henry Rollins.

Hell, I even understand the Beastie Boys.

But when it comes to music I'm an old-fashioned guy.

Lenny Kravitz.

Sugar Ray.

Smashmouth.

Barenaked Ladies.

Live.

Bush.

Chris Cornell.

Nine Inch Nails.

Orgy.

Check out any of the above for a wonderful time...I GUARANTEE IT.

Yet for pure unabashed CD thrills, I must admit that MY personal roots run

much deeper.

The great folks at Rhino have compiled the ultimate boxed set.

You wanna talk about your geniusues?

I offer the name Stan Freberg.

I had the rare pleasure of being seated next to Mr. Freberg on a

cross-country flight many years ago. He must have thought that I was a loon:

incoherantly babbling on about all of his fabulous satire and the radio

shows, commercials and records that truly molded my life in the late fifties

and early sixties.

All of that classic material is gathered here for the first time in a package

called

The Tip of the Freberg

...this season's featured album.

Not only do you get the best of the best from Stan culled from his many hit

albums at Capitol, you also get to hear snippets of timeless radio broadcasts

from the days AFTER it was cool to do radio. We're talking the sixties here,

and Stan was the last of the stand up guys delivering live radio humor to

real audiences and biting the hand that fed him at every turn.

But if the disks and the box and the accompaning book were not enough to make

you plunk down a little cash for history, the enclosed VIDEO will.

On this VHS, you'll be treated to Freberg's amazing television commercials

from the fifties thru the nineties.

You'll be surprised at how many you'll be able to remember.

And laugh along with.

The man is a legend and, as all good legends are, the legend is for sale.

Just Do It!

Read any good books lately?

Well, I have!

And nay-sayers be hanged, one of the best books I've read in years is

Hearts In Atlantis by Steven King.

As an avid King collector--his signed first editions were the ones that got

me hooked on collecting

and others....( Click on any of these authors for a good

time...GUARANTEED!!)--

I gotta say that the new King is a wonder.

Five interconnected stories about or based in the turbulant sixties.

Not horror at all--personality driven insights.

Hearts, the card game...

Hearts, the souls...

To me this book is as much as an innovation as was "The Green Mile."

Say what you will, King is still the master of his domain...

and I'm happy to reside there.

Wilson's "Implant" is Paul's most linear book in recent memory and would make

a great movie...are you listening Mr. Rabwin?

and with something for you Y2K freaks, read

"Messiah" by Andrei Codrescu

and then make your plans for New Years Eve, 1999...

I know where I'll be...Eerie, Pennsylvania...

I've got a contract...what's YOUR excuse?

On to the movies...

Seen 'em all!

"The Muse" wherein the brilliant Mr. Albert Brooks lays the laughs on other

actors for the third picture in a row.

He made Brendon Fraser funny in "The Scout"

He made Debbie Reynolds viable again in "Mother"

and this year, the beautiful Sharon Stone gets the laughs.

And she can do it, too!

It was obvious, even from this lady's talk-show appearances, that she really

had a remarkable sense of humor.

She gets to use it here ... Big time!

Still, I hearken back to the days when Albert was saving the big laughs for

himself...

More selfish days that produced the miracles that are "Defending Your Life",

"Lost In America", "Modern Romance" and the just-released-to-video

"Real Life"

People....

"The Truman Show"....

"EdTV"...

it all started here with Albert's first full length feature after his stint

making movies for Saturday Night Live in the seventies.

Do yourselves a favor and BUY IT NOW!

"The Blair Witch Project" doesn't need ME to talk about it.

Suffice to say that this critic was not impressed.

I laughed at "Bowfinger"...still I expected more.

And just like you were, I was amazed at how much I enjoyed "The Sixth Sense".

This was one of Mr. Willis's "little movies"...the artsy ones that he films

between the blockbusters, yet it turned out to be one of the year's biggest

draws.

Bruno's good alright.

He's better than good.

Just like last year had it's "Armagedon" followed by the smaller "Color of

Night", it was Bruce's acting in the latter that was amazingly true.

And with Rob Reiner's "The Story of Us" about to break box office records and

those of Kleenex sales too, I'll wager that no one was more surprised than

Willis when "Sixth" wound up smashing the summer's competition.

A great picture and the youngster is frighteningly good.

There now...

I've got my Cd's.

I've got my videos.

Got my books and a big Frappacino.

Light the candles and the incense...

Wait a minute...

What's this?

Oh yeah, I think I'll watch Jimmy Kimmel and Adam Corolla on "The Man Show"

first.

Quality is subjective, my friends.

Til next time,

Welcome back to school you Pokemon and Pokewomon.

(the artist currently known as)

EDDIE

hkaylan@theturtles.com